Maafkan aku Teman

Sekian lama aku menunggu
Tuk ucapkan kata-kata itu
Kata-kata bodoh yang tak memiliki arti
Yang kini aku sesali

Sampai kapan aku akan terus menunggu
Melepaskanku dari rasa bersalahku ini
Karena sikapmu kini berubah
Seolah aku adalah orang yang ingin kau hindari

Maafkan aku
Atas segala ucapanku kala itu
Maafkan aku
apt-cac

Aku menyesal teman
Berilah aku kesempatan
Untuk mewujudkan harapanku
Ketika dulu kita bisa saling bercanda
Seolah tak ada dinding pembatas antara kita
Aku tak ingin kehilanganmu
Karena tak ada mantan teman dalam kamusku

Pengalaman dari Kota Tua

Hari minggu kemarin, atau tepatnya tanggal 9 Nopember 2008, aku dan dua orang temanku (Hendy dan Irpan) mengadakan acara jalan-jalan ke Kota Tua. Berhubung disana sedang ada event, kami bertiga jadi cukup penasaran untuk datang. Agak-agak kecewa sih karena event nya nggak seperti yang kami bayangkan sebelumnya. Harusnya sih datangnya sehari sebelumnya, bukan hari Minggu nya. Karena katanya hari Sabtu acaranya lebih ramai dan lebih seru.

Berhubung nggak terlalu seru, kami memutuskan untuk berjalan-jalan ke area sekitar Kota Tua aja. Nggak kemana-mana sih, cuma di areal itu-itu saja.Toh, targetnya juga bisa foto-foto bangunan-bangunan tua di areal tersebut. Tapi rasanya lelah sekali. Dari acara kemarin, kami mendapat beberapa pengalaman berharga yang berhubungan dengan hobi fotografi kami bertiga:
• Memotret bangunan menggunakan lensa wide akan jauh lebih bagus dibandingkan dengan lensa kit, apalagi lensa tele. Dan sayangnya tidak satupun dari kami yang memiliki lensa wide angle. Irpan malah lebih parah. Lensa kitnya tidak dia bawa, malah membawa lensa tele Sigma 70-300mm. Mubazir deh.
• Lensa tele bisa digunakan di Kota Tua, asal ada modelnya, jadi ngambilnya dari jauh. Sayang sekali kami bertiga nggak punya modelnya. :P Padahal sebelumnya sudah mengajak teman-teman kuliah yang perempuan untuk datang. Sayangnya mental semua :(. Jadilah hasil foto-fotonya terasa ada yang kurang. Kecewa banget deh.
• Untuk event-event semacam ini, sepertinya memiliki lensa all-around adalah pilihan yang bagus. Sayangnya, harga lensa all-around Nikon 18-200mm cukup mahal. Dan masih mikir-mikir lagi belinya. Worth atau nggak ya???

Semoga ini semua bisa menjadi pengalaman yang berharga, sehingga pas balik lagi ke Kota Tua, at least udah punya lensa wide atau paling nggak ada modelnya lah yang bisa difoto.

Blank

On Sunday afternoon, I noticed an interesting status on my YM. It came from one of my friend. It said: "Can't do any activity but net-ing, why there'll always be one day like this every month". Surely, I didn't know what it simply means in my friend's point of view. I don't want to judge anything. It was so interesting for me because it reflected and depicted the life I experienced at the end of last week. And I suppose, my real condition is even worse.

It is different when you said between "I couldn't do any activity" and "I didn't do any activity". Could not means, you were not able to do something, but basically you want to do it. But because you had something else to do, you had to prioritize it first and then you did the thing you desired to do. At least, at this circumstance, you have a will.

If you said "I didn't do any activity", in my opinion, it senses like you were not able to do something because you didn't know what you're supposed to do. It sound like a moron right? I said: you didn't know anything to do. What you've done is nothing at all and it's all useless.

I have been busy, but busy for nothing. I did a lot of things, but it's all useless (of course all of this refer to my opinion). I did not make any progress. It's really really disappointed me. My progress is even slower. And frankly, in my conclusion, my overall performance on last week was even worse compared to a week before.

Why it is so easy to be tempted by something. Which is not all of these things were good for me. Even I knew it's not good for me, but eventually I did it. Is it so odd to hear that someone did something useless, even he knew it was bad for him? I must have lost my mind then.

I wish, this week, I could be better. Hope Allah will bless me to do anything useful in my life. I don't expect to do something useless. It will only waste my time. I hope, at least at the end of this week I can say: "I didn't do anything useless". Yup, you can translated what it means. It has more than one meaning, depends on your point of view in seeing and understanding the sentence.

Inikah Cinta???

Inikah cinta??
Jika hati ini selalu memikirkannya
Inikah cinta??
Jika hidup terasa hampa tanpa kehadirannya
Inikah cinta??
Jika aku selalu mengingat dirinya
Inikah cinta??
Ketika aku tak kuasa dan malu memandangnya
Inikah cinta??
Ketika semua yang kumiliki tak bernilai dibandingkan dengan keanggunannya
Inikah cinta??
Ketika kehadirannya selalu aku nantikan
Inikah cinta??
Ketika perhatianku senantiasa tercurah untuknya
Inikah cinta??
Ketika pengorbanan telah mengalahkan ego
Inikah cinta??
Ketika aku lebih memikirkan dirinya dibandingkan dengan diriku
Inikah cinta??
Ketika dia selalu terlihat indah dimataku
Inikah cinta??
Jika ucapannya terdengar bagai bait-bait syair
Inikah cinta??
Jika kepergiannya menyayat hati
Inikah cinta??
Jika semuanya selalu datang dan pergi
Inikah cinta??
Jika aku telah menulis bait-bait ini
Hanya untuk bertanya inikah cinta

SMS Please

I hate it, when I was in the middle of my activity - doing something that need some concentration, my phone rang. I lost my track on my work. And damn, it came from one of Content Provider's technical staff. I didn't answer the call. But I knew, there is something wrong. After my phone stopped ringing, I turned it off, and continued working on my interrupted job.

Two hours later, I finished my work and turned my phone on. Immediately, three messages came in. Yeah, one notification message - informed me that someone had called me during my phone was turned off, and two remaining messages came from the CP who previously called me. I replied it, said the problem has been followed up to IT guys and to wait. Because I have no access to the production server. So both he and me, can only wait and wait until our IT staff take an action. And after that, I didn't received any reply message.

Yup, that incident happened to me last Saturday night. It's not the matter about the guy who complained a problem on our network. It's the matter on how he conveyed his complaint. It was on weekend, and it's my holiday. So, for any urgent matter like that, I hate if someone called and rang my phone just only to talk about my job in my office, especially when it's related to a problem. I really appreciate when someone send me a short message to deliver his complaint. Of course, this rule is only applicable on my weekend and holiday, except it came from my colleagues in my office. Hehehe

Why do I hate it? First reason is, it really bother me, especially when I was in the middle of something that I need my mind to be focused. I usually do not let my phone far away from me. So I would notice when there was any incoming message. It's enough to inform me that there was something wrong

Second, I expect our partner appreciate my time on weekend. In my opinion, calling somebody else just only to talk something related to their job is categorized as an impolite manner. Weekend is a time when people should free themselves from their work. Therefore, when we want to 'trouble' someone else, it's better to SMS instead of making a phone call.

Third, SMS make me possible to reply it later. Unlike a phone call which interrupted our activity when we answer it, a SMS could be opened and replied later. It is flexible and do not interrupt our activity except its ringing tone. :P

Hikmah dari Rasa Sakit

Weekend kemarin, aku dipaksa untuk di tinggal di rumah. Kondisi badanku pada hari Sabtu langsung drop begitu aku bangun tidur. Badan rasanya sakit semua. Meriang, demam, dan menggigil kedinginan. Plus perutku pun rasanya nggak enak. Rasa-rasanya wajar saja jika aku sakit. Beberapa hari sebelumnya aku pulang malam terus, bukannya ada kerjaan, tetapi memang ada keperluan lain.

Waktu sakit ini aku gunakan untuk istirahat, me-recover tubuhku yang sudah kelelahan. Terkadang, rasa sakit, walaupun tidak enak, seringkali aku syukuri. Karena dengan demikian, aku akan 'dipaksa' untuk tinggal di rumah. Waktu yang lumayan banyak, bisa aku gunakan untuk mengevaluasi diriku sendiri. Mengevaluasi target-targetku, dan menjagaku agar aku tetap berada di rel yang benar.

Rasa sakit juga melatihku agar aku tetap sabar dalam menghadapi semua cobaanNya. Semoga ini adalah cobaan, bukannya musibah untukku. Begitu menenangkan, ketika kita bisa sabar dan menerima sesuatu yang kurang menyenangkan. Karena menurutku, kepuasan atau rasa syukur itu timbul bukan karena kita memiliki sesuatu saja, tetapi karena kita bisa menerima keadaan kita saat itu. Rasa sabar ini akhirnya mengarah kepada rasa ikhlas dalam menerima segala cobaanNya.

Aku mencoba untuk tidak mengeluh. Karena semua ini ada hikmahnya. Agar menjadi manusia yang lebih sabar dan menyadari betapa mahalnya nikmat sehat itu. Kurasa, ini adalah peringatan untukku juga karena aku telah memaksakan diri untuk melakukan sesuatu secara berlebihan.

Audit & Masalah Lingkungan

Hmm.. Mungkin ada yang bertanya-tanya apa hubungannya audit dengan masalah lingkungan? Well, beberapa bulan belakangan ini, di kantorku sedang marak-maraknya dilakukan audit. Semua bagian dan divisi diaudit untuk mencari apakah ditemukan proses-proses yang tidak sesuai dengan prosedur. Selain itu, dicari juga celah-celah yang memungkinkan seseorang melakukan fraud terkait dengan fungsi kerjanya.

Tujuan audit tentu saja baik. Agar perusahaan menjadi lebih sehat, credible dan lebih baik lah tentunya. Dengan temuan-temuan yang didapatkan oleh tim audit, diharapkan dapat meluruskan bisnis proses yang ada agar berjalan sesuai dengan prosedur.

Namun, efek sampingnya tentu saja ada. Dan yang paling menyebalkan adalah jadi semakin banyaknya kertas-kertas dan dokumen-dokumen yang harus dibuat terkait dengan masalah audit ini. Karena audit itu harus ada hitam diatas putih, dimana semua bagian yang terkait dengan bisnis proses tertentu mengetahui dan menandatangani dokumen tersebut, akhirnya banyak sekali dokumen-dokumen yang menumpuk. Bahkan banyak diantaranya yang hanya bersifat formal saja. Dan mungkin sebenarnya dalam realitanya tidak terpakai sama sekali kecuali untuk keperluan audit.

Seperti kasus di departemenku, kini semakin banyak dokumen-dokumen yang harus aku buat, dan harus di print pula, dan nantinya harus ditandatangani oleh pihak-pihak terkait. Semakin boroslah pemakain kertas di kantor. Ini baru satu divisi. Sementara di kantorku sendiri mungkin ada puluhan divisi. Jika ditotal, berapa banyak tuh kertas yang harus digunakan untuk keperluan audit saja.

Pernah membaca suatu artikel yang mengatakan bahwa untuk mencetak 15 rim kertas A4 dibutuhkan sebatang pohon yang telah berusia 10 tahun. Miris juga mendengarnya. Aku tahu perusahaanku mampu untuk membeli kertas, dalam artian perusahaan bisa menyediakan kertas dalam jumlah yang banyak. Tapi disini bukan itu masalahnya, tetapi berapa banyak pohon yang ditebang untuk memenuhi kebutuhan penggunaan kertas di perusahaan. Berapa banyak hutan yang menjadi gundul. Dan bisa jadi kertas yang kita pakai merupakan hasil illegal logging.

Menurutku ada beberapa solusi yang dapat digunakan untuk mengatasi masalah ini. Diantaranya adalah menggunakan kertas yang sudah digunakan. Jadi nggak boros kertas. Yang kedua adalah, print nya bolak-balik. Jadi walaupun di print di kertas baru, nggak boros. Ketiga, teliti sebelum mencetak. Lumayan, bisa mengurangi penggunaan kertas yang nggak terpakai. Last but not least, membuat sistem yang paperless. Untuk beberapa masalah, mekanisme ini bisa diterapkan. Nggak tahu tapi untuk kasus audit, secara untuk kasus audit harus ada hitam diatas putih.

Hari-hari tanpa arah

Inilah hal yang paling aku benci ketika hari-hariku kosong tanpa terisi dengan inspirasi-inspirasi yang menyegarkan pikiran. Saat-saat dimana aku merasa telah lelah dengan semua aktivitas dan menjalani hari tanpa arah. Semuanya berjalan mengalir begitu saja bagai air. Tak tentu arah dan tujuan.

Ya, itulah yang terjadi dalam seminggu ini. Aku benci sekali dengan diriku sendiri, ketika hanya bisa meratapi target-target harianku berlalu dan tak tercapai. Ketika setiap hari aku selalu pulang malam karena ada keperluan dan godaan-godaan yang tidak seharusnya aku ikuti. Yang ujung-ujungnya, banyak sekali waktuku terbuang percuma dimana seharusnya aku bisa memanfaatkannya dengan baik.

Kelelahan.. Itulah yang aku alami. Waktu istirahatku kurang. Akibatnya adalah keesokan harinya, aku tak bisa berpikir dengan jernih. Sehingga seringkali mudah terbujuk oleh godaan-godaan untuk melakukan hal-hal yang malah mengurangi waktu tidurku.

Di akhir pekan ini aku berharap bisa beristirahat total. Akan aku gunakan waktuku dengan sebaik-baiknya untuk menyegarkan kembali pikiran yang telah lelah ini. Rasa-rasanya begitu banyak sekali rencana-rencana yang ingin aku lakukan untuk memotivasi pikiran agar selalu positive thinking. Well, semoga minggu depan aku bisa memulai hari-hariku dengan indah. Hari-hari dimana aku merasa betapa indahnya hidup ini karena pikiranku dipenuhi dengan semangat-semangat untuk mengerjakan sesuatu yang baik dan menyenangkan.

The Alchemist

Berangkat dari rekomendasi seseorang untuk membeli novel tersebut, aku membeli novel tersebut dari Periplus seharga Rp. 85.000. Ternyata, novel yang dalam edisi bahasa Inggrisnya lumayan mudah untuk dipahami. Kosa katanya nggak aneh-aneh, jadi nggak perlu bolak-balik buka kamus. Mungkin karena edisi Englishnya sendirinya juga merupakan terjemahan dari novel aslinya yang berjudul O Alquimista yang dipublikasikan di Brazil dalam bahasa Portugis. Jadi bacanya juga enak.

Luar biasa. Itu adalah kesan pertamaku ketika mulai membaca novel The Alchemist yang ditulis oleh Paulo Coelho. Novelnya menarik sekali untuk dibaca. Walaupun masing-masing plot diceritakan secara singkat, namun isi pesan yang ingin disampaikan oleh penulisnya diceritakan berulang-ulang. Novel ini sangat layak untuk dibaca, dan aku merekomendasikan novel ini untuk dibaca siapa saja, mungkin khususnya untuk orang-orang yang sedang mengejar mimpinya. Cocok lah. Banyak sekali pelajaran-pelajaran dan pesan moral yang bisa diambil dari novel ini, seolah mengajari pembacanya untuk lebih memahami diri dan hidup mereka masing-masing.

Sedikit bocoran, novel tersebut menceritakan kisah tentang seorang anak gembala yang mengejar mimpinya, yang dalam novel tersebut diceritakan berupa harta karun yang terpendam. Perjalanan si anak tersebut akhirnya mempertemukannya dengan sang Alchemist yang mengajarinya hal-hal baru dan menemaninya dalm pengejaran mimpi si anak tersebut. Dalam menceritakan kisah perjalanannya, Paulo Coelho menyelipkan filosofi-filosofi yang bisa membuat pembaca merenungi inti dari pesan moral yang tersurat di novel.

Banyak sekali quote yang bisa diambil dari novel tersebut. Salah berbunyi: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it". Terkesan berhubungan dengan buku Secret karangannya Rhonda Byrne. Walaupun sederhana, tetapi maknanya dalam. Seolah mengajariku untuk tetap konsisten dalam mengejar mimpi-mimpi dan cita-citaku. Intinya adalah jangan menyerah dan ragu. Sekali ragu, maka lenyaplah semua mimpi-mimpi itu.

Yang paling mengesankan adalah epilog dari novelnya. Disini diceritakan, akhirnya si anak gembala tersebut menemukan hartanya di tempat dimana dia memulai perjalanannya, setelah dia berkelana jauh hingga menembus gurun dan menemukan piramid. Dari kisah ini, menurutku pesan moral yang bisa diambil adalah: ada kalanya untuk memperoleh kebahagiaan atau sesuatu yang kita inginkan, perlu usaha yang keras hingga kita melewati tantangan-tantangan dan mengalami berbagai macam pengalaman dalam hidup. Sehingga akhirnya kebahagiaan itu sendiri ternyata tak berada jauh dari kita sendiri. Kebahagiaan itu sebenarnya tak jauh dari diri kita sendiri dan ada di sekitar kita. Tinggal seberapa jelikah kita dalam menemukan kebahagiaan yang ternyata tak berada jauh itu.

Alone...

kebun raya bogor

Nikon D80
AF-S VR Micro 105mm f/2.8G IF-ED
ISO 100
Aperture F/3
Focal length 105mm
Exposure 1/400

Fresh

kebun raya bogor

Nikon D80
AF-S VR Micro 105mm f/2.8G IF-ED
ISO 100
Aperture F/8
Focal length 105mm
Exposure 1/400

Daun Jambu

depok

Nikon D80
AF-S VR Micro 105mm f/2.8G IF-ED
ISO 125
Aperture F/3.5
Focal length 105mm

Istana Kedua

Atas rekomendasi seorang teman, yang menyuruhku untuk membaca novel Istana Kedua yang ditulis oleh Asma Nadia, aku beli juga novel tersebut dan sudah selesai aku baca. Menurutku, bukunya bagus. Menceritakan kisah tentang poligami yang diambil dari sudut pandang istri pertama dan istri kedua.

Sayangnya, novel tersebut walaupun fiksi lebih kurang sekali dalam mengupas cerita dari sudut pandang suaminya. Jadi menurutku malah terkesan memojokkan si laki-lakinya. Aku sendiri merasa kurang mengenal karakter si suaminya karena memang di novelnya tidak terlalu banyak diceritakan. Jadinya, alasan si suami untuk menikahi perempuan keduanya juga agak-agak samar. Memang karena suka, atau memang karena kasihan. Yang dari novelnya sendiri cenderung aku anggap suaminya menikah diam-diam karena kasihan dengan perempuan keduanya. Padahal novel tersebut menurutku menekankan kalau alasan seorang laki-laki menikah lagi adalah karena alasan suka. Tak lebih dari itu.

Di pengantar novelnya, kalau nggak salah ada yang memberi komentar kalau bukunya 'wajib' dibaca oleh para laki-laki. Di satu sisi aku setuju sih. Karena banyak mengupas perasaan dari sisi perempuannya. Diharapkan laki-laki bisa memahami perasaan istrinya nanti jika nanti mereka mengalami situasi seperti yang dikisahkan dalam novel tersebut. Di sisi yang lain, novelnya menurutku malah terlalu banyak menceritakan sisi perempuannya. Jadi berasa nggak fair aja.

Buku karya Asma Nadia yang lain yang mungkin cocok untuk para laki-laki adalah Karenamu Aku Cemburu dan Catatan Hati Seorang Istri. Walaupun tak melulu membahas isu-isu poligami, bukunya layak dibaca. Menurutku, kedua buku tersebut 'mengajari' kaum laki-laki agar lebih memahami kaum perempuan, dalam hal perasaan. Dari buku itu aku jadi paham, banyak hal-hal kecil yang dianggap sepele ternyata bisa membuat si istri cemburu.

- Kitun -

my home

Flower on veranda

my home

Nice Gift

I was surprised when I unwrapped the gift. It was a pair of Snoopy's pen. I thought it were pencils, but, it were pens. It's nice gift. So I decided to take a photograph of it using my DSLR camera.


Thanks my friend, you still remembered that I love Snoopy merchandise. I'm grateful I still have a friend like you. Still remembered my birthday, and gave me gift on the very day.

Membuka Lembaran Baru

Ah.. indahnya hari ini. Hatiku begitu tenang di hari ulang tahun ke 24 ku. Apalagi hari ini aku mendapatkan ucapan selamat dari beberapa orang yang menurutku cukup asing. Dan bahkan ada satu orang yang belum pernah aku kenal sebelumnya. Hidup ini memang benar-benar sudah diatur. Aku merasakan hari ini mengalir begitu saja. Seolah-olah aku terbawa dalam arus skenario yang memang sudah seharusnya aku jalani. Tak lupa, aku ucapkan terimakasih atas semua ucapan yang diberikan untukku. Semoga Allah membalas semua niat baik dan kebaikan kalian semua.

Aku bersyukur hari ini aku bisa merasakan kebahagiaan yang seolah-olah tak akan pernah habis. Aku bersyukur, karena seorang teman yang mengucapan ulang tahun kepadaku justru seseorang yang tak akan pernah aku sangka-sangka sebelumnya. Ada beberapa rentetan kejadian menarik dan cukup menyenangkan yang justru biasanya tidak pernah terjadi pada hari-hari yang biasa aku lewati. Sungguh, tak ada satu nikmat Allah pun yang bisa aku dustakan. Semua perasaan senang ini, semua kebahagiaan yang aku miliki, dan semua impian-impian yang belum tercapai.

Alhamdulillah, ketika usiaku menginjak 24 tahun saat ini, aku merasa keinginan-keinginan yang aku impikan setahun lalu pencapaiannya cukup baik. Ada banyak hal yang telah aku capai tahun ini, dan ada beberapa yang gagal kuraih. Aku berharap, satu tahun ke depan aku bisa menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik dari sekarang. AKu mengharapkan semua keinginan dan tekadku untuk memperbaiki diriku tidak pudar. Ya Allah.. tuntunlah hambamu ini agar tidak tersesat. Dan tunjukkanlah aku jalan yang kau ridhoi. Serta jauhkanlah aku dari hal-hal yang berbau maksiat.

Kulihat cahaya terang di seberang
Dan aku ingin meraihnya
Keluar dari ruang gelapku yang kelam
Menuju mimpi-mimpiku yang telah lama tertidur

Museum Fatahillah

kota tua, jakarta

My Wish Comes True

A week ago, my manager called me to discuss a new mechanism to increase our division revenue. On discussion, I learned that Depsos nowadays begin to socialize a new rule of quiz permission. Since the beginning of this month, Depsos would restrict Content Provider to launch their quiz. I don't know whether or not this will be realized in reality.

Simply, I was quite happy to hear this news. Ah, eventually my wish came true. For most CP, I guess the quizzes existence would give them more and more revenues. In fact, there is some CP who can survive from quizzes. I could hardly believe it. In my opinion most quizzes held by CP are not educative. It tempt people to waste their money, teasing them with prizes. Only few amount of people would win the quizzes and the other will only become a 'victim' maybe after spending a lot of money in answering the questions on the quizes.

I also learned, quizzes is the most effective ways to gain more and more revenues. It was very very effective I guess. You even could be able to obtain more than one billion rupiahs on a month. And it was not gross revenue, it was the profit itself. You can guess how many peoples trapped in this game and wasted their money up to more than one billion in a month.

Most of all quizes are using subscription mechanism in which subscriber have to send some keyword to particular ADN to be registered on specific quiz. After registration process, subscribers would receive about one or two question everyday. CP would stop sending them question when they unregister to the same ADN they used to register. But sometimes, CP still be able to send them SMS if the subscriber is also registered on other service on the same ADN. This is the problem. In my opinion there are so many peoples outside who don't understand about this mechanism yet. They usually try to send some SMS using keyword they saw on advertisement on TV and magazine. After they realized that they would be charged on every SMS they received, they experienced a problem how to stop it, how to unregister it. The consequence of this circumstance is rapid growth of complaint received by customer services (call center).

I believe life is not a matter of money only. There are others aspect that should be taken as a consideration. CP should not make anything which is probable to harm customer. Perhaps, nowadays it's difficult to act honestly. Considering there are so many CP competing on the same field. As long as their intention is based on revenues, they'll do anything to generate it, even in wrong ways.

I wish, after this rule prevail, complaint addressed to customer service will decrease significantly. As far as I know, quizzes has generated a large amount of traffic everyday. So, prohobiting the quizzes means reduces traffic significantly. Hopefully, this prohobiting action will not create another hole. I don't know whether or not this prohobiting action will prevail absolutely. Absolutely means all SMS quizzes will be blocked. Or perhaps, Depsos will limit their action on issuing permission of quizzes operation. If so, then I'm afraid the CP will bribe Depsos to issue a permission of quizzes operation.

Rejeki Tak Terduga

Kejadiannya seolah datang begitu saja pada hari rabu sore, 6 Agustus. Ketika itu, salah satu manager di divisiku diundang untuk mengikuti workshop yang diadakan di Kediri, Jawa Timur. Undangannya sendiri dijadwalkan pada hari Jumat pagi. Berhubung menurut managerku perlu satu orang lagi dari orang development untuk menemani, terjadilah penawaran siapa yang mau ikut ke sana. Tadinya managerku sendiri yang akan ikut, sekalian pulang kampung ke Surabaya. Begitu tahu acaranya diadakan di Kediri, nggak jadi deh. Akhirnya malah nawarin ke aku.

Aku tentu saja mau ditawari untuk pergi. Sekalian mau pulang kampung. Dari Kediri ke Tulungagung hanya perlu 45 menit. Berhubung aku sudah mengajukan cuti untuk minggu depannya untuk keperluan pulang kampung juga, aku minta ijin agar cutiku bisa dimajukan. Ternyata disetujui. Alhamdulillah senangnya. Jadilah aku pulang kampung lebih awal 1 minggu. Walaupun minggu depannya aku sudah mengantongi tiket kereta untuk pulang, aku ambil kesempatan itu. Hehehe.. Mumpung gratis. Tiket pesawat PP gratis plus dapet uang perjalanan dinas. Apalagi yang kurang coba. Padahal di Kediri cuma harus menghadiri dan presentasi di workshop yang diadakan oleh regional selama kurang lebih 2 jam. Itupun yang memberikan presentasi juga managerku. Aku cuma numpang doang. Ahh senangnya..

Bersama Kesulitan Ada Kemudahan

Maka sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan, sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan. QS 94:5-6

Potongan ayat Al-Quran tersebut mengingatkanku pada kisah yang dialami oleh salah seorang temanku yang beberapa waktu lalu sedang diuji oleh Allah. Setelah penantian yang panjang menjadi pengangguran, akhirnya dia diterima di salah satu perusahaan yang cukup terkenal di Jakarta. Walaupun sebenarnya dia berharap diterima di perusahaan lain, yang menurutnya memiliki jenjang karier yang lebih menjanjikan. Namun apa daya, karena panggilan dari perusahaan tersebut tak kunjung datang, akhirnya dia menerima tawaran dari perusahaan sebelumnya. Dan setelah mulai bekerja di perusahaan tersebut, dia mengatakan padaku kalau dia merasa senang. Merasa senang karena sekarang sudah kerja lagi, dan ternyata, kompensasi yang diberikan oleh perusahaan tersebut lebih dari ekspektasinya.

Sungguh, bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan. Bahkan kata-kata tersebut disebutkan dua kali dalam Al Quran. Jika kesulitan sedang menghampiri, seburuk apapun kesulitan itu, kita harus percaya pada adanya kemudahan yang menyertainya. Hal ini menurut pendapatku bertujuan agar manusia selalu berpikiran positif ketika sedang menghadapi masalah apapun. Selalu berbaik sangka kepada Allah. Bisa jadi semua kesulitan yang sedang kita hadapi saat ini merupakan sarana yang melatih kita untuk lebih bersabar dalam menghadapi masalah. Bisa jadi kita membenci kesulitan yang sedang kita hadapi, padahal itu baik untuk kita. Karena Allah Maha Mengetahui, sedangkan kita tidak.

Lyra's Oxford

Last week on weekday, I spent my time after office hours to PIM. I needed a little bit moment to refresh myself by walking around and buying some books. I really enjoyed going to PIM on weekday, since it's not too crowded of peoples. So I could walking around quietly.

When I went to Kinokuniya, I saw a Pullman's book. Yeah, it's Lyra's Oxford, a book which I had been looking for after finishing The Amber Spyglass. I accidentally found it. I recognize the book from it's red cover. I was so surprise that the book was only contains about 50 pages. And it's shape is far smaller than His Dark Material collection. I felt quite disappointed. Moreover, it's more expensive than HDM books. Nearly 100 k rupiahs. But I didn't care. I had to bought and read it.

Even it has no direct relation with the HDM series. It told the stories related with Oxford, witches, Will, Lord Asriel's war, etc. It's even told that the plot was taken 2 years after Lyra and Will were parted. About the witches and hers daemon which has the power of separation. And about Will's characters: encouraged and brave.

The story itself told about Lyra's life in Oxford. One time, there was a kind of bird which later was a witch daemon came to Lyra and asking for her help to find an elixir for his witch. The witch daemon told Lyra that there was a new disease which both of them were suffering from. When a witch died, her daemon remained alive, alone. Too horrible and miserable for daemon.

Along their journey of finding someone who could make the elixir, there were several uncanny things. Whenever the witch daemon met a flock of birds, he would have been attacked by them, begin with the starlings, pigeons, and swans.

At the end of the story, it was told that the witch and her daemon intended to trap and kill her and all the blame would be addressed to the one who in the book could make the elixir. They're all lying about the disease and the elixir. Finally Lyra was saved by a swan. And eventually she and her daemon realized the reason why the birds always attacked the witch daemon. They are all protecting Lyra. Yeah, and I had just realized why the chapter title is Lyra and The Birds.

I was quite satisfied of the book. HDM lovers should read this book I guess. Not too bad, but not too good. I would give 3.5 of 5 stars rating. The minus from this book is it has only around 50 pages, too short I think. The story is not profoundly explained. Moreover, I didn't understand why it's price is higher than HDM collection.

Nice Puzzle

Finally, I finished it. I bought it 3 months ago, and I never tried to arrange each piece into a complete picture. It has only 300 pieces, so it didn't take to much time to solve.

Trip to Hong Kong

After waiting for about one month, last week became my first journey to go abroad. I and my three colleagues went to Hong Kong in a business trip. We're invited to visit and benchmark one of mobile TV and one of mobile operator in Hong Kong. It took about 4,5 hours to travel from Jakarta.

My first impression when arriving at the airport: it's so big, clean, and futuristic. The technologies used is so advanced compared to Jakarta, made me dream when will Jakarta achieve this advance. From airport, it took about 30 minutes to carry us to hotel. We used airport train to Central station, and then we used taxi to hotel.

The most amazing thing is everything is well managed. Yeah, almost everything. One of them I observed is its public transportation infrastructure. You can go everywhere in city using bus, taxi, and MTR. Every two minutes, a train will arrive to station to carry peoples to their destination. So people don't need to wait too long. Unfortunately, we had no time to try bus. So I didn't really know about this kind of transportation.

Hong Kong is a free-tax city. Everything sold is tax free but car, alcohol, tobacco and perfume. I have no idea how many percent the car is taxed by local government. If you have a car, then you're supposed to be very very rich. Anyway, parking fee for cars is so expensive. I saw a banner showing: 11 HKD per half hour. And I was told that it was the cheapest one. Sounds crazy. So peoples prefer walking and using public transportation than using their own cars. It seemed, Hong Kong is too crowded. Buildings were built everywhere. It's lack of free land. So, it's lack of parking lot as well.

Because everything is well managed, the city is clean and tidy. It's amazing I didn't see any BTS tower in the city. I wondered where the BTS tower are really installed. I found later they are installed on rooftop of each building. And some of them placed behind advertising banners that no one would notice its appearance. Every BTS is shared by local operators. It of course would spare some spaces. It's very contrast to Jakarta, which is full of BTS forest.

On secod day in Hong Kong, we visited Speed Cast and PCCW company. Speed Cast is a company who has license to broadcast video content (news, sports, etc). Whereas PCCW is a telecommunication operator who operates in Hong Kong.

Speed Cast sells its video content to some operators in Hong Kong, but not exclusive to operators only. The operators sells the content to its subscriber. In Hong Kong, 60 percents of subscribers are postpaid users, who have more advantages compared to prepaid. Prepaid users can only use basic services like voice, sms, and MMS. Whereas value added services, even like 3G, Video Call, and GPRS, are not available to prepaid users. So, mobile TV contents are only available to postpaid users. Operators use subscription based when selling the contents. It differs from what we used in Indonesia, where charge is applied on each content. In Hong Kong, users subscribe to a service and will be charged monthly. The subscripton model is cheaper. You can subscribe for 7-channels on Mobile TV services by paying not more than 20 HKD.

PCCW, on the contrary has its own license. It doesn't buy license from Speed Cast. Moreover, it's not only an telecommunication operator. But also Wireless Network and IP TV provider. So amazing, because PCCW could integrate all of its services and ease its subscribers to use the services.

The one thing I dislike from this city is it's too crowded by peoples. I could see a sea of peoples walking everywhere. In my opinion, the city is too busy and too loud. It doesn't really fit with me. I like silence and quiet environment. For this, Jakarta is better I guess. :(

Unfortunately, because of our strict schedule during our visit, we had not much time to explore the city, even for buying some souvenirs to be carried back. When we arrived to airport on the way home, we had only 15 minutes to buy some souvenirs there. While buying, we expected our plane would be delayed. Luckily, it came true, so we continued buying more souvenirs there.

Keindahan Semu

Adakah ketenangan yang bisa kudapat
Seandainya aku tak pernah mengenalmu
Berharap kau tak pernah ada
Dalam liku-liku kehidupanku

Mata ini tak bisa berbohong
Ketika aku memandang wajah manismu
Hati pun seolah tak menurut
Terbuai dalam keindahanmu

Sungguh..
Hatiku merindukan keindahan
Keindahan yang tulus dan nyata
Bukan hanya keindahan semu yang menipu

Keindahan ini bagaikan racun
Ya.. semua keindahan semu adalah racun
Racun berkedok madu
Membuat mati perlahan

Sampai kapankah ini semua akan berlalu
Mengakhiri semua keputusasaanku
Melenyapkan semua tanda tanya
Yang memenuhi pikiranku

Akankan semua ini menjadi indah
Ketika semuanya tampak suram
Biarlah waktu yang menjawab
Dengan keindahan yang nyata

Being Alone

Last Saturday, I went to Kebun Raya Bogor. Alone of course. Sounds weird and awkward. But I did it. Perhaps people thought that I'm strange and unusual. I admit it, and enjoy it. In my opinion, sometimes people should go to their favorite place alone. Thinking deeply and contemplating. And I dare to say, it's normal. Nothing wrong with it.

There was a moment when I couldn't talk and share my mind with my friends. It was a moment to evaluate myself. Thinking about my dreams, how to achieve it, and how much my progress had advanced. Being alone made me feel free to plan. It opened my mind so I believe the ideas would come easily. I feel fresh since I tried to become closer to surrounding nature. Feel its silence and hear beautiful voices of birds singing on the trees. Enjoy the beauty of the blossom. Delight and charm my eyes with its vivid and colorful form. I couldn't feel better than this.

When the silence was so profound, I recalled my memories about what I had done before. What's my outstanding achievement and thought how to pursue it. I tried to recall all the wrong deeds I had done in the past. How cruel and miserable it were. I wish I wouldn't do the same in the future. Hhh.. Hopefully..

It's Inevitable

Hhh.. Sigh.. For these past several weeks, suddenly I felt something wrong about what I've done as my daily tasks on my current job. Frankly, this feeling has been filling my heart for longer than I could imagine. But, this feeling is getting stronger as the time went by. Turned me in distress.

It's not about the environment where I've been working for this past year. I've no problem with other colleagues worked on the same division of mine. It's all about my job and what I've been dealing with. Even I'm satisfied with it, but I sense it's wrong. Yeah, it's kind of hearing a perpetual truthful voice from my deepest heart and rang my head. And it's inevitable. I can't avoid it.

My job is dealing with content provider. Some of them are dishonest, in my point of view. They often harm our subscriber by taking their credit in 'dishonest' way. Even sometimes I monitor their traffic and found some fraudulent fact, again, it's inevitable. They are basically cleverer than us. There are usually able to discover a new way to make profit. Since our business model is revenue sharing, it doesn't matter when they gaining revenue by legal or illegal ways. These legal and illegal profit would be mixed and shared. And it's inevitable as well for we couldn't distinguish the sources.

Second thing, and the most need-to-be-considered is some of these content provider usually earning money from quizes. I have no idea why MUI doesn't prohibit this operation. Even it's not categorized as a gambling, I sense it as a easy way to earn a lot of money in a short time. I wouldn't talk about how much it dealt with. Too horrible to be imagined. It tends to educate people or subscriber to be consumptive and wasting their money. Moreover, it creates a new paradigm how to gain money in an easy and simple ways. Aargh, I couldn't bear it for any longer. Can't stop thinking why peoples are so greedy to achieve revenues. They couldn't say it's enough. Even it's more than enough, they said they need more and more.

Hhh.. I've come too far. I know it's wrong and against my will. I don't expect this. Ya Allah, please help me and ease my way in finding out the solution. I want everything to be done in a proper and right way.

Possessed by Books

I can't remember for the first time when I began to spare some of my salary to buy a book. At this moment, buying some books is a must for me at the beginning of the month. I have managed to love reading. And now, I'm satisfied with it.

Reading could really make my brain thinking, imagining and conceiving even more deeply. I can say it helped me to understand and open my eyes wider so I could sense several problems with different point of views. Sometimes, it encourages me to do achieve my goals and blows an idea when I feel like no way out as well. When I read a deeply-touching stories or something majestic, it lift my heart up and cheer me up. It seems I have been being possessed by book. I guess, I can't life without reading book.

Until now, still I read several books at once. I mean, it's a kind of multi threading concept. If I had two or more unfinished books, I wouldn't read and finish the first one and then continue to read the second book. Instead, I would read the first one, and read the second one no matter whether or not I had finish the first one. Yeah, I try to keep my mind open and I don't want to be too focused on one book. In my humble opinion, each kind of books have different time to read. As my behavior in reading books, I usually read novel or anything which doesn't need profound thinking when I was on train, on my way to office or home. Some reading which is heavier in its content and need deep thinking, would be read on the evening before I went to the bed.

I wish, my habit would never change, by the means I want to keep buying books at the beginning of the month. And I'm quite sure, I can keep prioritizing in buying books over my other monthly expenses.

The 7th Fool Day

It was a fool day, seven years ago, when my best friend and me decided to name it Fool Day. I have no idea why we named it so. By the time before it was named, my friend and I used to fool each other. On 9th March 2001, there was something really really made me like a fool, and of course I can't mention it here. Hehehe...too shameful to explain. Let my friend I keep it ourselves :P

Every year, I would remember the day. It's kind of celebrating it. After graduating from senior high school, I never celebrated it any longer. But sometimes, I bought something on the day, so later, I would always remember that the stuff I purchased was intended to mark the celebration of the Fool Day.

Four years ago, when I was on my second year in the university, I bought a doll. A doll in Eeyore shape, one of the Winnie The Pooh character colored in dark blue. In my perspective, Eeyore was lazy, shy, lack of determination, and clumsy. Somehow, I felt it reflected my own character, especially on its shy character. I still remember, I purchased it using money I got from the fee of my first project. It worth 99.000 rupiahs. Afterward, this Eeyore always accompany me. It has journeyed from the desk of my boarding house, then on my working desk in my campus, and at last, right now, I put it on the desk in my office, next to my computer. What a childish thing.

And at last, my childish character continued to appear. The last 9th March, I purchased a jigsaw puzzle of Snoopy, and two pencil cases (also containing the pencil itself, rubber, ruler, and scissors) in light blue and pink color. The pink one was intended for my friend. Previously, I intended to buy one, the blue one only, but my friend found out my plan, so she ask me to buy the pink one for her. Yeah.. I couldn't refuse her request for she always carry well and kind to me.

Furthermore, I take only the pencil case, since I didn't need the remaining stuffs (pencil, rubber, etc). Frankly, I needed something to put my cell phones on. I wish I could get the Snoopy's cell phone case. But it was rarely sold. And I have no idea whereabouts I could find and purchase Snoopy's collections and accessories stuff. Since I have no time to look around and the most important thing was the date I bought the stuff.

How childish I was. But sometimes, felt like a child was cool and relaxing. Relieving distress and strain on the office. Hehehe... Now, I put the pencil case next to my Eeyore, and later, I'm going to fill my desk with more childish things. Lets see..

The Holiday,

I love holiday. This is the last day I stay in my beloved city, the place where I was born and spent my childhood. I have been staying for 5 days, since Tuesday. This is Saturday, I'm going to leave this evening using train.

During my visit, I spent most of my time with sleeping and reading some books. Yesterday, I finished reading 'Ayat-ayat Cinta' novel. It took no more than one day to finish it. Meanwhile, I have been reading The Amber Spyglass since I traveled to Tulungagung on Monday.

I couldn't go anywhere because the weather was not good as I had expected. On the morning, it seemed everything would be alright for it was clear and bright. At evening, it turned cloudy, dark, and rain. Fortunately, at night, the rain was faded. My family and I usually went around to get some food for dinner.

After all, I felt disappointed with myself. I failed to do something I had planned before. The thing I mostly coveted on the long holiday like this is contemplating. It was the right time for me to think deeply about my life itself. I usually decided what I had to do next, dealing with my short and long term life-planning. I evaluated my achievement as well. I missed it this time, and regret it. I had barely enough time to think clearly and make myself comfortable to do it for I had been busy reading books. Furthermore, I haven't been so good since I arrived here.

I love this place, and I will always miss it. I conceive I could stay beneath its bright sky. Gazing the different tints of flowers planted by my grandma on the yard. I'll gaze it one by one, admiring the most beautiful things in this world beyond women indeed. This is the place where I plan to spend the rest of my life in the future.

I Hate It..

Hmm... Have you ever thought about leaving your office for absence while you had several and might be so many task need to be done? It's not a good idea I think. But, sometimes, you just need to do so, for example, for my case, I left for absence because I had to attend something dealing with my family affairs.

Fortunately, I have an access to enter my office network using my beloved N70 handset. So, I can work remotely. I can be able to settle my tasks even when I'm far away from my office as long as my handset is on GPRS coverage area. It'll be better if I'm on 3G coverage area, but I think, 2G only is enough as long as the connection is stable. I just need to be more patient when I'm on 2G only coverage area.

Because of my family affair, I could only connect to my office network at night. Because, everyone had fallen asleep. I won't disturb them then. Last night, I was working on my tasks. Downloading and reading my email from my beloved email client, thunderbird. Doing somethings which are asked by another department on my office as it written on email. I've several tasks to do. As I finished my second tasks, the connection became unstable. From the network information, my N70 kept sending requests while it had no response in return. I thought my N70 was in problem. So I restarted the handset. Few second after my handset restarted, I startled, I gazed unblinkingly, half-unbelievable,... Yeah.. my N70 was out of network service area. I didn't understand why it was so sudden. Some crazy thought came into my mind.. It might be, there was someone stealing something from the nearest BTS and by mistake, shut down the BTS. Cool eh? Or it might be, the operator's network technician or it's vendor or whatsoever it called, had shut the BTS down temporarily. Meanwhile, they're upgrading the BTS into a Node B BTS (3G BTS). Hehehe.. Just daydreaming again.

Finally, after waiting for about one hour, at last the network coverage back to normal. I got full signal on my handset. Next, I did everything need to be done as quick as I could. Unfortunately, my dream didn't come true. The coverage area didn't turn into 3G as I had expected before. Hhh... I need some rest here. Cooling down my brain, from my business in Jakarta... But, I hate it after all. My journey to my beloved city, Tulungagung, had turn in vain I supposed. It's no different than I work on my office. It's just carrying my job right here where I am. I can't conceive how many tasks need to be done when I've come back to Jakarta this week end. T_T

Subtle Knife

I had been taking about 3 weeks for me to finish this book. The Subtle Knife is second sequel of His Dark Material, a novel written by Philip Pullman. It's a great novel even it doesn't explain satisfying conclusion. The conclusion of the whole story would be mentioned on the last sequel, Amber Spyglass which I hadn't read it yet.

On this book, Lyra continued her journey. She passed through the way to another world as had been told previously on The Golden Compass. Here, she met Will who discovered incidentally a doorway to the world Lyra had passed through.

The story continued.. Telling some conflicts before they finally found the Subtle Knife. It's a powerful knife. It could only work if it used by the bearer. Will was the bearer. The knife was able to cut anything in the world, including the smallest particle of matter and the most hardest thing in the world. It could make a 'window' used as a doorway to pass through between world.

On the other hand, Lyra's father, Lord Asriel was creating a formidable fortress and preparing a huge and enormous armies against the Authority. I conceive the Authority itself is God. So crazy, irrational, and insane. It told about rebellion of the angels. How could? Inconceivable how Philip Pullman could have this idea to his book.

Anyway, Lord Asriel armies wouldn't be able to defeat the Authority even its huge armies and formidable fortress unless he could obtain the Subtle Knife itself which means Will had to join his armies. It wasn't mentioned what's the reason this Subtle Knife could become the key to defeat the Authority. I believed, every undiscovered part of the first and second book would be answered on the last one. Ahh.. It is so tempting to read the Amber Spyglass. I'm a little bit curious about the conclusion of the whole story.

Back to the story.. There were Lee Scoresby, aeronaut who decided to find Stanislaus Grumman who knew something about the Dust. Moreover, as the story ran, it became obvious that Grumman came from different world who initially didn't have a daemon. Grumman was Will father who lost in the arctic when discovering it. He intuitively passed the 'window'. And because the landscape of his world and the new world were basically same -everywhere he saw, it was just only snow-, he didn't realize when he passed through it. Next, he couldn't find the way back to his world. In his new world, he got his daemon and became a shaman.

Finally Lee met Grumman and he was startled as he realized he came to Grumman because Grumman had summoned him using Navajo ring. Nice.. :P Here.. Grumman had waited Lee Scoresby to accompany him finding the knife bearer. He supposed to tell the knife bearer what to do. So, both of them teamed up and cross the world where the Ci'gazze was in.

Meanwhile, Lyra's mother, Mrs. Coulter were seeking Lyra. She, accompanied by Lord Boreal who lived in the same world as Will did, but he came from Lyra's world. While Mrs. Coulter was seeking Lyra, Lord Boreal was seeking for the Subtle Knife. I have no idea about what they did. As far as I know, the book don't mention what Mrs. Coulters purpose was on seeking Lyra, even from book one. Somehow, I was puzzled yet, why Lord Boreal desired the knife. Even I knew how powerful it was, it wasn't explained (as I know so far) what Lord Boreal would do if he had got the knife.

Morover, the queen witches, Serafina Pekkala was seeking Lyra as well, for in her witches world, this child would determine the whole world's destiny. She was so important that Mrs Coulter would seek her passionately. Because of the prophecy, Serafina Pekkala would help Lyra, following what the alethiometer told her. At last, she met Lyra when she and Will needed some help for both of them were pursued ferociously by the children of Ci'gazze and they wanted to kill both of them. Next, the queen witches found them and helped them.

At the end of the Book Two, Lee Scoresby was dead defending against the Imperial Navy Army who chased him through the doorway. Finally, Will met Grumman. As Grumman recognized Will was the bearer knife, he told Will what to do with the knife. He had to go to Lord Asriel and told him that he had the one weapon he needed above all others. They met in darkness so Will couldn't recognize his father. As soon as he could see Grumman's face, he recognize that he was his father who was so far he had been seeking to. As he recognize his father, Grumman was killed by one of the witch who used to loved him but he neglect her love which was on the witch point of view, it's the same as a scorn to her. Anyway, not long after killing Grumman using her arrow, she committed suicide using her own knife. Then, two angels visited upon him. Spoke to him that they need to bring him to Lord Asriel. But, Will wouldn't go without Lyra. Unfortunately, he couldn't find Lyra. I guessed, Mrs Coulter had found her and kidnapped her. Yeah.. It's the conclusion. I'm not satisfied about it and I'm eager to know what the story after that. Hhh.. I estimated, I could finish the third book in one month..

Everything didn't go as I planned

How cruel it is when you had managed to plan something carefully and perfectly but finally it all went out of the way you planned. And it just happened to me. So irritating and dismaying. Today, I wanted to go home early. Wanna take a rest a little more, for previous weekend, I slept lately. Immersed on playing game and watching football match. So, if my plan worked, I would be at home on 7pm. Took a bath, and then I could continue reading The Subtle Knife novel which I've read through the half of the book.

Cool then eh? When finally in the afternoon I realized I had something more work to finish by today. And I didn't expect I would delay it until tomorrow. Earlier, I noticed it an easy job. I just need to create a document explaining about new service on the system. After the time passed by.. I realized that the document itself contains flow and diagram. And it took a little bit more time to do. And the worst was, creating document is not my skill. I'm not too good on doing something dealing with something named document :P. Yeah.. and it went not as good as I expected. I ran out of words to compose the document. Can you believe it, I need more than two hours to compose such a document???? It's horrible.

Later, it came another task to do. I had requested several log data to analyze. And today, I received these data and it need to be analyzed soon. And I don't want to postpone it. After finishing the document, I began to copy it to other machine which is responsible for analyzing the data. The data were quite large. I guessed it cost about 1.5 GB on total size. And the problem was, I didn't notice it. So when at last I need the data to be analyzed, I had to copied it first using FTP to another machine in order to analyze it. And damn.. it took so long. Because the LAN cable I plugged on my laptop can only support 10 Mbps transfer. Huhuhu... I rued I didn't copy the data at once as I received it.

And the last thing, another bad news, my housekeeping task I had done last week was not worked as I expected. Even I had cleaned and deleted all the recycle number from subscription database. it didn't affect the overall system performance. I just analyzed some of the data and noticed that the number of error I expected to be decreased was still high. I don't know why and I've no idea about it. Perhaps, tomorrow I'll report it to my manager and I suppose, he will bid me to delete all the number which received the error as I described before. I expect it. Cool.. Hope.. tomorrow everything will go as well as I've planned today.

What a nice day

I had no idea when suddenly one instance of Putty closed itself while it was running a script started from yesterday afternoon. I tried to settle this mess by reopening another Putty and later reran the script. Nice.. If this script ran as I had expected, then it would be completely finished tomorrow. I hope everything would be alright tomorrow.

Then, it came to me an appointment I had scheduled. There was a CP complaining about its sending mechanism of content. They suspected it came from connection between CP and our server. So, I asked them to arrange a meeting an find where the problem was came from. Later, we found the problem from the CP itself. Fiuhh.. It took about two hours to find where the problem was came from. I supposed this should be settled earlier only if didn't get flu. It's a little bit hard to concentrate and focus while my eyes were wet and my head felt heavy and dizzy.

For almost two hours later, I couldn't focus to my task. Finally, on 2pm, I recalled I had to finish something I had postponed. At that time, I simply couldn't even think clearly. In my hesitation whether I could pass through this day or not, I managed to think and act positively. I won't surrender before trying. Amazingly, I could finish it all on time. Here, positive thinking could encourage me to do more though I didn't believe I could do so.

It was a nice day. I wanted to feel happy but it too difficult to control and perceive a kind of emotion. It's like I became emotionless while I was sick. I got some lessons, about how I had to think positively and encourage myself to achieve my goal. Really nice day..

Need some rest

I woke up in the morning. I found my right shoulder was heavy and painful. I felt so faint and dizzy. After for about one week sleepless, finally my body couldn't bear any further. Wished I could recover soon.

It was Saturday morning, when I felt bad and might be worse. But, at that time, I had an appointment with someone I couldn't ignore. So, I completely woke up with an headache and took a bath, dressed and ready to go.

Anyway, the meeting point was on my campus. It took about two hours to travel. Made me reluctant to go there. Yeah, even the meeting itself just took less than a hour, it was an important meeting for me. I had to appreciate someone who appreciate to me too .

After the meeting had finished, I went to PIM instead of going home. I didn't know whether it was a right decision or not. I just wanted to keep my schedule to be done. In the afternoon, I watched Cloverfield. I won't tell the detail here as I have posted it on my previous post. Later, I went to Gramedia bookstore, just wanted to look around with no buying any book. Then, finally I went home.

As I came home, I felt worse and worse. I couldn't think clearly and moreover my temperature increased. I fell asleep on 19:30 and I finally woke up after sleeping for about more than 12 hours.

Now, three days after Saturday, I perceive it is the worst. I got flu and sneezing all the day since yesterday. I got to think harder even just to understand what I had to do. It's more harder to understand on conversation with other. My nose is in pain and my eyes are wet. Even I had taken a full rest on Sunday, it didn't come better. Perhaps, it is a premonition for me to get adequate rest to recover myself. I'm sure what happened to me is an alarm from Allah for me that I shouldn't do something more than I could do and should have been grateful when I was healthy. Ah.. I got to sleep earlier this night. Expecting I will have a nice dream and perhaps, tomorrow I'll be better and fully recovered. Thanks God.

Cloverfield

I watched this movie two days ago on PIM 2. Unfortunately, I just watched alone with no companion. :D Anyway, this movie told about a monster attacking New York City meanwhile a small group of people were involved in a party.

All scene of the movie was told from the point of view of this small group of people. It's just like they experienced the real experience and record it using their camera. And what we saw is what they had recorded. Cool and nice. I've never seen a movie like this. Because the movie itself came from their camera, it gave a real impression though it also gave an unprofessional impression anyway. Some scene were blur and not focus.

Overall, I liked the plot and the way these small group of people telling the whole story. I just feel a little bit disappointed on how the movie concluded. Yeah... Sad ending. The main characters finally killed by the piles of the bridge they hide on. And the monster was just another part. The monster existence remained hidden and mysterious. I remembered, just as the movie was concluded, the visitors on the theater seemed reluctant to leave. Still didn't believe that the movie was ended. Hahaha

Children Of Hurin

Last week, I finished reading the Children Of Hurin, one of a tale written by J.R.R. Tolkien about Middle Earth. The book itself had not been completed By J.R.R. Tolkien and he never published it. Anyway, his son, Cristopher Tolkien, edited it and published it in 2007 as an independent work.

From this book, I knew that J.R.R Tolkien had written a lot of book telling about Middle Earth. So interesting and tempting :D. Actually, I had only read the trilogy of the Lord Of The Rings novel before. And I thought it were amazing books. I perceived that the language used in the book is different than any other novel I had read before. Kind of literature work rather than just novel.

In this case, The Children Of Hurin used less vocabulary compared to The Lord Of The Rings. Nonetheless, the language used in the books is nearly same. Hmm.. I don't know how to say, but could say it used 'higher' level language :P. I can distinguish it with other novel by another authors. Though it's unlike The Lord Of The Rings which is embellished by poems and poetries in whole part of the books.

The Children Of Hurin takes a setting in the First Age of Middle Earth, long time before The Lord Of The Rings take place. As Usual, Tolkien used so many characters his novel. Sometimes, this confused me @_@. Moreover, he gave so many name for place on the Middle Earth World. Aargh.. I thought it would be better if I read and conceive the map used in the book first. It would be useful on determining the direction of the place on the map itself.

In my opinion, The Children Of Hurin just tell some part of the whole stories. There are many part of the book which left untold, especially in the beginning of the book. Hmm.. Dunno whether the missing part would be told in the other books or not.

The tale begins with the coming of Hurin and Huor to hidden city of Gondolin. After dwelling for a year, they swore not to reveal its location to anybody and permitted to depart to Dor-lomin. Here, Hurin dwelt and married Morwen Edhelwen and two children were born to them.

The story tells about the upraising of Turin's (first child of Hurin) and early death of Lalaith (Turin's sister). Later, there is a disastrous war which in this book it called Battle of Unnumbered Tears. In this battle, Huor was defeated and captured alive while his brother Huor was slew down by the army of Morgoth (the antagonist character on the book).

Morgoth tormented Hurin, trying to force him to reveal the location of Gondolin. Anyway, Hurin stayed to his conviction for he had sworn before not to reveal it and even defied and scorned Morgoth. For this, Morgoth put a curse upon him and his family. And from this point, I concluded that the main plot of the whole stories is caused and began by the curse of Morgoth to Hurin and his Family.

So later, the remain part of the book tells about Turin and his wanderings from Dor-Lomin to another places in the Middle Earth. Aargh... too many things to tell the whole stories on this blog. Better read the book or the summary through Wikipedia :P.

This book is great. But it ends tragically because of the curse itself. Though Turin on the stories depicted as a hero, but his life was filled by darkness, grief, doom, and woe. Not only hisself, her sister Nienor also died tragically, by cast herself to the river of Teglin after she knew that Turin was dead (whereas he was yet live). Moreover, in the story, Nienor was cursed and enchanted by Glaurung so she forgot everything. Then she finally met her brother Turin. Both of them didn't realize that they are the children of Hurin. Finally they got married without knowing the truth. Hhh... so tragic :(

After Turin defeated Glaurung he learned that Nienor was his sister but it was too late because she probably died swallowed by the rapid current of Teiglin river. His life was finally end by his suicide against his Black Sword. I supposed the sword was a cursed sword for he had killed some people in the tale unjustly or coincidently.

After the death of Glaurung, Morgoth released Hurin. Because during he had been held captive by Morgoth, he had a power and ability to see through the Beleriand, he know all the stories of his children. Unfortunately, The book don't explain how Morgoth released Hurin.

The tale ends with the burial of Turin. Finally Hurin came to the mound of his children. There he found Morwen who had also managed to find the place, but she died with the following of the sunset in the arms of her husband. Thus, this is the last part of the book.

Great and remarkable book, and it is so tempting to buy another Tolkien's books. Let see.. Can't wait till buying The Silmarillion, my next target :P

Organizing My Life

It has been about more than six months since I decided to manage everything on my life. I began to write my plan, my financial plan, and anything else. It's so funny to do this sort of things. Though I didn't really know whether it would make me feel better. I just didn't want to miss such a trivial thing on my life. In other words, I can say I manage to record everything passed on.

In my workplace, I manage everything laid on my desk. Make me more comfort when I do my job here. I feel so delightful every time as I did what I had planned before. I know, it's just a little thing everyone can do. But for me, I believe a little thing could even make a difference in my life. I've got to focus to the bigger problem I faced. But, in my opinion, I have also taken heed to the smaller problem as well as the bigger problem.

The most important thing to remember on planning is about how to transform our plan into reality. Sometimes, we planned to many things to do on a particular time. So it seemed that our plan is not realistic and unachievable. Don't make yourself immersed on creating more and more plan to do. Think about it's time frame. Is it affordable or not. I guess making a plan is the most interesting part. And I could easily forget to assess whether I could finish the plan or not.

It's so funny, making a plan is like creating a cron for myself. I put a note about everything I would do. And I commit the plan on specified time as it described on my schedule. Sometimes I feel I was like a machine, doing everything properly in sequence due to the given commands. But, at this time I wrote this article, I had found something worth. My life became organized and well planned.