I Hated It, But I Did It

Should you tell someone that you like her, that you have a feeling to her, that you think she is the right person for you? Yup, you have only two choices. Just tell her what you feel, or just leave it. It should be easy to choose between them. But it would be more complicated when other factors involved.

Each choice has it own consequence. If you choose to tell, then the good news is you could free your feeling, and make it better. Additionally, it depends on whether you need an answer from her or you just want to express your feeling to her. If you don't need an answer, then just say it. The worst case is it could disturb even break your relation with her as an implication of your action. I will not explain, why it could break the relation. I guess everyone know what the answer is. In this condition, you know that you don't need an answer or perhaps, you already knew the answer (it supposed to be a negative response :P). So whatever the answer is, it would not change anything. You have already known about it, but you choose to tell just because you want to release the burden that abide on your heart.

If you need an answer, it become more complicated of course. You don't know what the answer is. You must have been expecting that the answer is a positive response indeed. If she gives you positive response, then she's yours. Otherwise, this is not your lucky day. You should learn how to manage your broken heart, begin to forget her, and look for someone else.

This morning, eventually I did it. I told someone that I thought she was the right person for me. I said that I have an interest on her, but it was not kind of feeling like love or something like that. Yup, I had already known I had no chance at all. I had already known what the answer was. And I didn't need it anymore. What I did was because the condition had forced me to tell the truth to her even though I hated to say that and it was not part of my plan.

She is my close friend. I worried that my statement could lead to an unexpected condition on our relationship. Fortunately, she understood even though she was shocked when she heard it. She promised that it would not affect the relationship between us. I was lucky and relieved. The worst thing that I was afraid of was not happened. I could free my feeling while I could keep my relationship with her. Although the real answer was or course a negative response. But it didn't matter to me. Life must go on. My story had ended here. If everything has been written down, so why should I worry? It is pointless and useless for me to talk about this later. There are still a lot of beautiful story to be created. ^_^

Back to the previous topic to choose between to tell or to leave. I forget to include my opinion when eventually you choose to leave it. This is my opinion: If you choose not to tell her anything, then you are a coward, especially when you need an answer. By not telling someone about your feeling, you had lost your chance. I guess, it is better to take a chance than to leave it before you try it. If you did, then you were a loser.

Teman Seperjalanan

Betapa menyenangkannya ketika sedang bepergian kita bisa mendapatkan teman seperjalanan yang cocok dengan kita. Nyambung ketika diajak ngobrol, sehingga membuat perjalanan menjadi tidak membosankan. Apalagi ketika hal-hal yang dibicarakan merupakan pengalaman-pengalaman baru yang mungkin belum dirasakan oleh si lawan bicaranya. Bisa dijadikan sarana pembelajaran untuk sekedar menambah wawasan mengenai sesuatu yang sebelumnya tidak kita ketahui. Walaupun jenis teman yang seperti ini mungkin tak akan pernah kita temui lagi, tetapi terkadang apa-apa yang dibicarakan selama perjalanan bisa menetap dalam ingatan kita.

Seperti yang aku alami ketika pulang kampung kali ini. Alhamdulillah teman seperjalananku enak diajak bicara. Walaupun umurnya sudah kepala 4, pembicaraan kami masih nyambung. Apalagi orangnya jauh lebih tua daripada aku. Dalam perjalanan ini, aku belajar banyak tentang kehidupan darinya. Tak terasa kami sudah menghabiskan waktu lebih dari 4 jam untuk berbincang-bincang, sebelum akhirnya dia memutuskan untuk tidur duluan, sementara aku memutuskan untuk membaca buku.

Entah, sudah berapa kali aku melakukan perjalanan jauh seperti ini. Beberapa kali aku mendapatkan teman perjalanan yang menyenangkan, dan beberapa kali juga aku mendapatkan teman perjalanan yang sama 'dingin' dan tampak menjaga jarak, sehingga membuat perjalanan menjadi kurang asyik. Sayangnya, selama ini teman seperjalananku kebanyakan berusia jauh diatasku. Jarang sekali bisa mendapatkan teman sebaya yang seumuran. Apalagi teman seperjalanan perempuan. Jangankan yang sebaya, yang umurnya lebih tua aja rasa-rasanya nggak pernah dapet. :p